I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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