Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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