Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
