she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Randomize
