there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
