It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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