that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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