Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
