Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
