I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
im six kinds of drunk right now
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
you never un-have a 4some
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
