It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
