I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
