woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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