Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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