My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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