your parents love me but you hate me
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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