I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
