No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
