I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you didnt know i had herpes?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
