I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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