Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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