also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
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Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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