Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
