My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
