I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
