But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You are a booty call, not a friend.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
