hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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