Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
