Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
