i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
