I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
