literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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