possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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