One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
