I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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