We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
