Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
