i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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