Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
