Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
