I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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