Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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