we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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