READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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