he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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