This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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