I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
