glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Non-Jews are for practice
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
