I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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