question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
