I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
