Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
