then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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