if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
