A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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