god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just invented taco cereal.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
