Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
