She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I don't deserve a penis
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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