Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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