So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize