spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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